Rediscovering Resilience: Navigating Disruption and Reclaiming Control Through Narrative Practice

The course of my life was fundamentally altered by an unexpected and transformative disruption – the commencement of the lockdown during my first semester at University in 2021. . The journey began with my relocation from Bowral to Wollongong, driven by my passion to pursue Marketing and Communications. As I settled into campus life alongside three unfamiliar roommates, little did I know that my structured daily routine, the cornerstone of my well-being, was about to be dismantled.

Inherently, I thrive on a structured daily routine and I developed a healthy routine of waking up early, going to the gym, attending classes and going to work. After a few weeks of lockdown, unforeseen feelings of isolation and loneliness gradually overwhelmed me as I had lost structure in my days. The absence of my cherished gym routine was particularly poignant, leading me down a path of internalised negativity and self-deprecation as I personified my own insecurity of not exercising.

I had conversations with friends expressing how they “can’t wait for gyms to open up again”, but due to the uncertainty of how long this lockdown would be I knew I could no longer wait, and needed to create a new routine. I began writing myself 45 minute to 1 hour exercise programs that I would complete outside or in my room. I shared this initiative with my roommates and friends and it sparked their interest allowing us to engage in exercise together to regain the lost sense of structure in our lives. Laughter, music, sweat, Facetime calls and conversation became the new norm and soon enough lockdown didn’t feel so daunting and overwhelming anymore, as I had reclaimed some of my happiness back by creating a new routine for myself. The decision to take control of what I could during this time rekindled a sense of purpose in my life as I created a daily routine that allowed me to enjoy exercise again.

Reflection upon my experience has brought to light the profound parallels between my personal journey and the theory of ‘Externalising Conversations’, by Magie Carey and Michael White. This theoretical framework centres on the externalisation of internalised problems, with the aim of reshaping personal narratives (Carey & Russell, 2002). I can acknowledge that during this disruption I found myself internalising the problem of lockdown and letting it dictate how I perceived myself. Externalising Conversations allows individuals to revise their relationship with the problem, and not look at themselves as the problem by creating a sense of separation between themselves and the problem (Carey & Russell, 2002). Within the Narrative Practice, this concept provides individuals with a greater understanding of how they can handle the issue, and reclaim their lives from the influence of these problems (Carey & Russell, 2002).

This relates to my own experience as despite the repercussions of lockdown I learnt to externalise the issue with friends and refraining from personalising the problem. This shift enabled me to search for solutions that remained within my domain of control, particularly regarding physical activity and routine. This transformative mindset not only propelled my personal growth and narrative but also extended its positive influence to my friends and roommates. By utilising Carey and White’s theory, individuals as well as myself are able to ‘de-centre’ the problem in their own lives (Carey & Russell, 2002). I now know that stepping away from the problem allows individuals to consider what the core problem is, its history and the negative effects it is having on the individual. Externalising problems allows a person to identify their own knowledge of life, skills and discover how they can be utilised to address the problem (Carey & Russell, 2002). Externalising the problem of not exercising, allowed me to stop speaking negatively about myself and instead focus on the solutions I had available.

Furthermore, Micheal White’s theory of “double listening” and “the absent but implicit” (Carey et al., 2009) encouraged me to listen differently to perceive my reaction to disruptions better. Applying this theory to my own experience, by listening differently I realised my distress stemmed from the absence of the gym and my preferred daily routine created the problem. This taught me that health and routine are my own implicit values that I need to prioritise, allowing me to reconstruct my personal narrative instead of letting these values be overshadowed by this challenge (White, 1997). This newfound self-awareness and discovery served as the catalyst for my pursuit of fitness qualifications and led me to emerge into the fitness industry as a trainer after lockdown ended. This pivotal experience brought to my attention my core values which will shape the trajectory of my life.

Engaging with the theories of White and Carey, my personal narrative will continue to evolve, and will always thrive in the domain of exercise. The refrain of , “I can’t exercise,” and “I don’t have time”, has transitioned to an empowering mantra of, “I can prioritise my health” and, “I will feel happiness through exercise”. Externalising conversations and embracing double listening has empowered me to transform my internal conversations so that I no longer personify a problem. I now understand which core values matter to me that need to be prioritised within my daily routine, the importance of externalising problems and apply these new skills and knowledge for similar problems that may arise within the future.

References

Carey, M. and Russell, S., 2002. Externalising: Commonly asked questions. International Journal of Narrative Therapy & Community Work, 2002(2), pp.76-84. Available at: https://dulwichcentre.com.au/articles-about-narrative-therapy/externalising/ Viewed: 22 Aug

Carey, M and Walther, S and Russell, S. 2009. The absent but implicit: a map to support therapeutic enquiry. Family Process, pp 319-331. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19702920/. Viewed: 23 Aug 2023

Carr, A., 1998. Michael White's narrative therapy. Contemporary family therapy, 20, pp.485-503. Viewed: 23 Aug 2023

White, M., 1997. Re-membering and professional lives. M. White, Narratives of therapists’ lives, pp.53-92.Viewed: 22 Aug 2023

*This Blog Post utilised AI to make it more succinct and flow better, through better language choices**